Watch the short film Homecoming from the Media That Matters site.
Post your responses to the following questions:
What was your reaction to the film?
If Ron was a student in your classroom, how would you respond?
What does your school do to create a safe environment for students like Ron?
What do you do when you hear a student use the word "gay"?
Provide three resources that will help teachers create Safe Environments in their classrooms (e.g. Common Roads, GLSEN). Comment on at least two other posts, responding to either the video questions or the resources.
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Participants' Responses and Resources
Name: Amy T.
Response: What was your reaction to the film?
Watching the film made me feel sad for Ron at first, due to having to experience that level of bullying. It was so unfair for him to have been beaten up simply because of his sexual orientation. However, after seeing him thrive at the Arts High School, I felt relieved for him. He was able to grow emotionally it seemed once he was a student there. He was able to feel comfortable with himself and his classmates there. He also had a strong rapport with the instructor too it seemed. It really is remarkable what he went through and how in spite of it all, he was then able to be happy and accomplish great things in his young life.
If Ron was a student in your classroom, how would you respond?
If Ron was a student in my classroom, I would support him just like his instructor did at the Arts High School. I would support him in his creativity, his passions, and his strengths. I would affirm his strengths to him and help him see that he was worthy of wonderfulness in his life. I would perhaps talk to him or at least let him know I was there to talk if he wanted to talk regarding the bullying he endured.
What does your school do to create a safe environment for students like Ron?
The College where I am a counselor at offers a LGBT club which meets weekly for students who could benefit from this type of support. There is a faculty advisor who facilitates it. There is also support through individual counseling for any students who are having any sort of issues regarding their sexual orientation.
What do you do when you hear a student use the word "gay"?
It depends on the context when a student uses the word, “gay”. I don’t hear students call other students gay at all at the college, perhaps it goes on but I don’t hear it. Whenever students are using the word it is in counseling when they are talking about their sexual orientation. For example, they may refer to themselves as gay if they are homosexual. Some students who are curious or unsure of their sexual orientation may talk about possibly being gay as a negative thing or a shameful thing, but others who I counsel are comfortable with their sexual orientation. Some students use the word “gay” as something that defines them. For example, they are proud of their sexual orientation and they don’t care who knows. I have counseled a few students over the years that have Gender Identity Disorder and want to change their gender from male to female or female to male. Some of these students have described what their desires and feelings are like and some let me know that they are not gay, they are not a lesbian. They simply want to be the “other” gender.
Provide three resources that will help teachers create Safe Environments in their classrooms
Comments: Hi, Amy, at the college level, what are some of the reasons you have heard from students who may feel that being gay is "shameful"? I ask because that seems like the time when students identify with who they are and are not ashamed of it. Shawn
Amy, the 2nd link above was very informative about federal civil rights related to sexual orientation. I read it a few times and it is still somewhat confusing! It seems wrong that schools can say they won't get involved in certain cases because legally there is not protection for students with varying sexual orientations. -Beth Mowrey
Amy, I think you have shared some important insights from your work with transgender students. It almost seems to me like transgender should not be linked with gay and bisexual. The issues are very different. Understanding this seems key to recognizing these students' issues. Thank you for your insights. Katie Marsh Name: Marz
Response: I felt many different emotions when watching the movie Homecoming. I sympathize with Ron because of the abuse that he experienced in his hometown. I also applaud his coming out, which must have been difficult to do particularly when living in a small town where gossips spread quickly and which tend to be more homophobic than bigger cities. I admire his courage and that he remained true to himself despite the harassment that he experienced. I am glad that his mother supported him and that he could have confided in her as many other parents might have struggled learning that their child is homosexual. The behaviour of the police who advised Ron and his mother to drop the case is appalling and homophobic in itself. They are supposed to serve and protect everyone who is harmed unlawfully. Also the reaction of the school which ended with suspending the boys responsible for the act of violence on Ron is despicable. They should have followed up on the incident by educating their students about the importance of respect for everyone regardless of their sexual orientation like the new school in Minneapolis that Ron later joined did. They set a bad example by ignoring the issue. Finally, I am happy that Ron found the new school that accepted him and respected him as probably is not the case for many other homosexual, bisexual or transgender people.
If Ron was a student in my classroom I would treat him with the same respect as other students and I would support him academically and encourage him to pursue his passions and interests further. I would like to make him feel welcomed and confident to come and talk to me about any issues just like other students. I would also expect the rest of the class to treat him in the same manner and if his classmates mistreated or bullied him, I would focus on challenging homophobia in my classroom rather than pretending that the issue does not exist. I would also address the issue with the school administration counting on their support. Unfortunately, I am not aware that my last school did anything to create a safe environment for homosexual students. I do not recall hearing anything about the subject at all. I believe that one reason for it could have been that it was a wealthy and close knit environment, in which certain subjects were considered taboo or kept private, as it is difficult to picture that a school of approximately five hundred or more students would have only heterosexual students.
If I hear a student using the word ‘gay’ I’ll address it. How I would address it would depend on the context the word is used. If it used as to single some out due to their sexual orientation I would have a class discussion on why people feel that they need to refer to others’ sexual orientation and how they would feel if someone addressed them by mentioning their sexual orientation. I would also try to make a lesson on the connections between homophobia and other forms of discrimination like racism or sexism. Resource 1: http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/index.html Resource 2:
Comments: Hi, Marz, is anyone in your school trained in the Safe Place program? (Shawn)
Hi Marz: I also found the way in which the police handled the matter with Ron appalling. The police gave the impression that they could not guarantee his safety, or sent the message that it was Ron who caused the event to happen; What you say about drawling parallels between homophobia and other forms of discrimination is spot on I beleive, for one type of intolerance breeds or accentuates other modes of intolerance. John Pahls
Yes, the fact that the police and the school didn't want to get involved proves that the beliefs of the children in the school also ran deep in this town. It affirms what I think which is that children learn so many of their beliefs from adults in their lives. - Beth Mowrey
Hi Marz, I too felt appalled at the event Ron had to face. I find it incredible that he was able to come out to his mother because like you said many parents would not be able to handle that. I agree that the school should have followed up with some type of education on sexuality. That idea was something that had not crossed my mind. Originally I was stuck on the legal aspect instead of what the school could do to educate their students. Libby
Name: Abbey Juzwiak
Response:
The line Ron said at the end about his new school was very powerful. He said “They saw me as a real person and not just who I loved”. I think this hits a point for all of our students. They want to be seen as a person and not one alienating factor. Bullying is not acceptable under any condition. I remember in high school students were constantly being picked on for various reasons and the teachers pretended not to notice. I went to a very small school with only 100 students in my graduating class. On Monday it was common knowledge what everyone did over the weekend, including teachers. I was always amazed how teachers could stand by and watch others being harassed.
My students are too young to specifically address this issue with them. However, I believe that one of the most important steps a teacher can take to make all students, including gay students, feel included is to lead by example. Teachers intervening when a child is being bullied, empowers their students to do the same. Teachers must model the desired behavior that they want their students to emulate. When students feel that the teachers are empathetic or at the least not going to intervene, they will push boundaries. As teachers and parents we know that children will behave worse when there are zero consequences for their actions.
I think that when a teacher hears a student use the word "gay" they need to then listen to the conversation to determine if further action needs to be taken (negative or positive). I do not tolerant students making comments that something was “gay” or “retarded”. An example to make students understand the harm in their words is using their name in the place of “gay” or “retarded”. Hearing their name used to mean that something is bad helps students to recognize how those words in a negative context are both harmful and hurtful. If the child is talking about a person who is gay but in a factual manner and not derogatory then it would be appropriate. If a student is talking about themselves or confiding in a peer about their feelings then the teacher may be able to offer support.
Comments: Hi, Abbey, thank you for including the fourth resource! I continue to be amazed at the number of resources that exist for teachers, if only they seek them out. (Shawn)
Hi Abbey,
The parallel you make using the words "gay" and "retarded" are very true. Both words are terms that I see as getting more and more used today in society and commonly the people who use them are not fully aware of the harm they are doing. The switching of names in your classroom by replacing a hurtful word with a students name is a brilliant idea. I have never heard that before. I will be using your idea in my classroom because that would resonate very well with my younger ones in feeling how it can have a bad connotation. Thank you! Libby
Abbey, I enjoyed reading your response to the Homecoming movie. I can relate to your growing up in a small school, but mine was even smaller: my graduating class had 12 students! I think when you have such a tight-knit community, where everybody knows your business, it can be hard to be an individual and break the molds. All eyes are always on you! One would think that in such communities, teachers would not just stand by, but take action whenever needed! Those who stand by are just as guilty as those who are bullying, don't you agree?
.
Comments: Add comments here.
Name: Katherine Marsh
Response:
After watching the video, I felt a great deal of joy for the student, Ron, and his progression to becoming a secure and happy individual. My nephew experienced a similar situation and the similarities were so strong, I felt as though I were watching my nephew's story. Bullying is such a life changing event for those who experience it, my heart breaks every time I hear stories such as these. Ultimately, though, I think people, like Ron, who have experienced bullying can be enriched to a place of greater understanding of human beings and their capabilities, once they are removed from the situation and become confident about who they are in a nurturing environment.
If Ron were a student in my class, I would place value on his gifts and accomplishments, and try to help him communicate about bullying if that was a problem. Ron obviously had a natural talent for writing, so it seems clear that it would be easy to focus on this strength, and also create assignments which allowed him, and any other students who may be experiencing bullying, to communicate their hardships and how best to handle them.
My school, honestly, does not have a policy about handling the issues Ron was dealing with. It makes me aware that, although I work at a private preschool, perhaps an anti-bullying policy needs to be included in our handbook. I do, however, address topics such as bullying in class conversations I have with my students. There are several good children's books that deal with these topics, and I read these throughout the year. By modeling non-tolerance to bullying of any type, hopefully my young students will become aware that their choices can impact others, and their behavior can have positive or negative results for others.
Comments: Hi Katherine: I, too felt happy for Ron in the end. His story of one who has had to endure such brutal intolerance could have had a devastating end yet I agree with you it took him to a stronger and more integrated place. I admired his strength and ability to cope when he said at one point. "I don't think about it (his experience in the small town) so much now." Such a response could mean either one of two things, it was so unpleasant he represses it or he has worked his way through it. My hope, and his tone seemed to suggest it was the latter. In this way it is a happy story. John Pahls
Katie, do the parents have any reactions to reading these stories? Shawn
Katie: I really appreciate how you would try to help Ron communicate about bullying, through is writing. This would indeed empower him and provide him with life tools that he will need as he goes forward in life, regardless of where he lives. I really like the way your correct a person when they use the word "gay". Although I do something similar, I will adopt your line next time I hear it. I think it really speaks to one's emotions. Lina
Name:John Pahls
Response:
I was encouraged by the film Homecoming. Initially it was sad and distressing that Ron experienced such intolerance and brutality at Lakeville. Yet, the silver lining within that black cloud is that the strenuous time catapulted both him and his mother to find a school and setting wherein he received the acceptance and support he deserves. The alienating period in Lakeville led to the much better place in south Minneapolis, and the fact that he does not dwell upon the bullied time before shows he has worked through much of the trauma, and as a language arts teacher am glad to see the writing process helped!
If he was in my class I hope that my response would be courageous, to address the issue as proactively as possible. Just as with our middle schoolers, often I get no good work unless its graded and evaluated, so too I would work to ensure there were further consequences beyond just suspension, and further education and processing of such a brutish action.
I have only heard the word used once in my presence in class by some middle school boys, in reference to not a person but to some sort of situation or circumstance they wanted to denigrate. The student mumbled in a sidewise sneer to their friend, “that so gay”. I looked at the young man and he looked down and was silent, not challenging, but I must confess I didn’t address the issue head on. We as teachers choose our battles, there were no students known in the class that were of a same-sex orientation but still such aspersions should not be tolerated and I’ll be ready to address it next time.
Comments: Hi, John, the first time the comment is heard, it can catch someone off guard. Preparing to address it next time, how is the situation playing out in your mind? Shawn Hi John, I agree with you that as teachers and parents we must choose our battles. Maybe all that student needed was a look from you. Not all students need it to be addressed with a discussion. He may have received the message that you disapproved through your look. -Abbey
Name: Beth Mowrey
Response:
My Reaction: The film demonstrates how family beliefs manifest through children. Children come to school with pre-conceived notions by what they experience in the home and community environments. Entire communities and regional areas throughout the United States carry similar values. When you live there and your values don’t match, you are treated as an outcast or as wrong. This happens with many issues other than homosexuality.
As I get older, I try to find the positive in every negative situation. Due to Ron’s negative experiences in his hometown, he then had the opportunity to find happiness in a new environment. If his initial situation wasn’t so extreme, he wouldn’t have moved and found the way to blossom socially and academically.
If Ron was a student in my classroom, I would capitalize on his strengths. I would help him to feel safe and valued, just like any student. Teaching in an elementary school (K-4), we don’t blatant sexuality situations. Yes, there are children that need guidance with appropriate touching and personal space etiquette.
I taught middle school many years ago (12+). I am sure I heard students use the word “gay” in a derogatory manner. However, I can’t remember specifically how I dealt with that. When a child uses an inappropriate word in front of me, I will give him/her a alternate word that is a better choice. (Example “Oh My God…Oh my Gosh”). If a child said “This assignment is gay”, I would discuss why he/she was frustrated or angry about the assignment. I would also give better word choices to share the frustration with me or others. If a child called another child “gay”, I would write a referral to the office, because that is personal defamation.
Comments: Hi, Beth, I once had a sign that provided synonyms to students for using "That's so gay." Many of the words students had not heard before, so it became a great vocabulary lesson. Shawn
Hi Beth, After reading some of the statistics on your second resource, I learned that rural LGBT are more frequently victimized. I found this disturbing due to the fact that I live in a rural area, but also important for educators to understand in order to be part of positive change. Katie Marsh
Name: Elizabeth Pasquale
Response:
What was your reaction to the film?
At the beginning I felt very sad for Ron. When he started to say how people around him did nothing to stop the situation or help afterward, I felt angry. I do not know how people could sit around and watch something like that happen. To me people like that are just as guilty.
As the story continued I felt very shocked at the age that Ron came out to his mom. I have many homosexual friends who did not come out at such an early age. This really took me by surprise, but I applaud him for knowing himself well enough to know what he wanted. Although the story was sad at first I found it very empowering. The video showed me how helpful school environments can be. The safety that school provided allowed Ron to grow and shine in his class and move on such a traumatic experience.
The only part of the story I was confused about was when Ron said there was nothing else done to the students past being suspended. I am not quite sure what else would be done. In my school growing up we had many incidents of people getting in fights even to the extent that one girl had a girl dangling off a balcony. All that was done there was suspension. Once I thought back to the story I was confused because it said it was at a football game. In this case I am even more conflicted on my feelings towards the punishment because that is outside of school hours. The students should not have been suspended but rather charged for assault and battery. It makes me sick that people do this and can get away with it.
If Ron was a student in your classroom, how would you respond?
If Ron were a student in my classroom I would make it very known to him that I am someone he could trust. I would let him know that his choices did not make a difference to me and that he would be treated as an equal to everyone else in my class. I would also make it very clear to him that I am there to help if he had any problems with others students and to come to me if there were any problems at all.
What does your school do to create a safe environment for students like Ron?
In my school we do not have any situations that deal with anything like this. Students are too young in my school to really know much about sexual orientation or relationships. Especially in my classroom this because even less a topic. Some of my students are confused on what the difference between a boy and a girl is.
What do you do when you hear a student use the word "gay"?
I have never had a student use the word gay in my classroom. They are too young. If a student were to use the word in my classroom it would be just because they heard it somewhere else and used it just as a word rather than a hurtful one. Students in my room commonly misuse words and do not know their meaning. If this occurred I would explain to the class, as I do with other inappropriate words, that it is not something we use. I explain that the term is used to hurt people and make them feel sad and we do not want to do that. I believe at this age it would be too early to take it any further. At a higher education level I would go into more of a detailed explanation.
Comments: Libby, since this did occur outside of school hours, police should have been involved. Because it was a school-sponsored event, that is the reason why Ron was hoping for more than suspension. When an incident like this occurs, it could be mandated that the offenders go to counseling of some sort. I hope these examples help! Shawn
Libby I agree with you that the people who stood around and watched him get beat up are just as guilty as the people who were physical. I can understand feeling frustrated about the students only being suspended. Even though a suspension is not something you want on your record, the reality is that missing school is not much of a punishment. Personally I think suspension should be replaced with community service. -Abbey
Libby, I too was surprised by how young Ron was when coming out. I work with adults, not kids, so I am not that familiar with the ages that could be common with kids coming out to family and friends, but I thought he was very self-aware at a young age, which more than likely helped him cope with the bullying he endured at school.
-Amy Name: Lina.
Response: the the show movie: Homecoming
I was saddened at first because I can only imagine the fear and horrible times that Ron lived through during his high school years. I was happy to hear that he had the option to move, even though it was his senior year. This means that he had lived in that town and gone to that school for probably most of his life. With people harassing him daily and being pushed in the halls, there is only so much that a person can take!
I think it’s a terribly sad situation when a person finds it dangerous to live in his own town and has to move in order to be safe. On the other hand, it was really great to hear that the environment at his new school was so open, with open-minded teachers and students alike. If I were to fault someone or something, I think that I would have to say that for this particular situation, I blame his previous school for not creating a culture of tolerance and acceptance.
One thing I didn’t understand was the line when he says: “There was not really any steps to reprimand the individuals beyond suspending them.” I was glad to hear that they got suspended. Perhaps he means that it was not enough of a punishment?
If Ron was a student in my classroom: the situation at my school is different than the one Ron found himself it. I have class sizes of 14-16 students, close contact with parents, and the students are carefully monitored for behavior. We have frequent “student concerns meetings” and progress reports are sent out every 2 weeks. Intolerance and bullying are not accepted in any way, shape or form. Also, being a private school, if a group of students were to beat up on a student, they would not only get suspended, but probably expelled. We have systems in place, such as behavior contracts, academic probation, and the code of conduct to prevent these types of situations.
However, if I were in a public school in the US, I would make sure that Ron knew that he could come to me anytime. I’m not sure what I would do with regards to those 5-6 guys who beat him. My school is a private K-12 International School of about 400 students. The Elementary school, middle school and high school each has it’s own principal and different breaks that do not over lap. The high school is located in another building across the street. So, each level is its own self-contained unity. This helps to manage and control behavior. Also, most of the students have been in the same classes for many years since kindergarten). My school creates a family environment among the students because it is so small, and living on a small island, there are not many option for social interactions. Sports, music, drama, the students hang out with each other after school as well as during school. In addition, the teachers are a tight team; we have clear goals, with the students's well-being being our first priority. We also have incident reports - every incident that occurs, goes into the student file.
What do you do when you hear a student use the word "gay"?
I always tell my students that those types of words are not tolerated in my classroom and I question the student about their choice of words. It causes an interruption because I do stop whatever I am doing and take a few moments to address the issue. I also remind them of the “ISC Way”, our code of conduct.
Comments: Hi, Lina, you mention the differences between public and private schools. No matter the student who comes to our public school doors, we are responsible to educate them. Students can be expelled from their 'home' school; unfortunately, it costs quite a bit of money to expel the student because the school district is still responsible to educate the student. Shawn
Home > Activity 5-B-2: Safe Environment
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Participants' Responses and Resources
Name: Amy T.
Response:
What was your reaction to the film?
Watching the film made me feel sad for Ron at first, due to having to experience that level of bullying. It was so unfair for him to have been beaten up simply because of his sexual orientation. However, after seeing him thrive at the Arts High School, I felt relieved for him. He was able to grow emotionally it seemed once he was a student there. He was able to feel comfortable with himself and his classmates there. He also had a strong rapport with the instructor too it seemed. It really is remarkable what he went through and how in spite of it all, he was then able to be happy and accomplish great things in his young life.
If Ron was a student in your classroom, how would you respond?
If Ron was a student in my classroom, I would support him just like his instructor did at the Arts High School. I would support him in his creativity, his passions, and his strengths. I would affirm his strengths to him and help him see that he was worthy of wonderfulness in his life. I would perhaps talk to him or at least let him know I was there to talk if he wanted to talk regarding the bullying he endured.
What does your school do to create a safe environment for students like Ron?
The College where I am a counselor at offers a LGBT club which meets weekly for students who could benefit from this type of support. There is a faculty advisor who facilitates it. There is also support through individual counseling for any students who are having any sort of issues regarding their sexual orientation.
What do you do when you hear a student use the word "gay"?
It depends on the context when a student uses the word, “gay”. I don’t hear students call other students gay at all at the college, perhaps it goes on but I don’t hear it. Whenever students are using the word it is in counseling when they are talking about their sexual orientation. For example, they may refer to themselves as gay if they are homosexual. Some students who are curious or unsure of their sexual orientation may talk about possibly being gay as a negative thing or a shameful thing, but others who I counsel are comfortable with their sexual orientation. Some students use the word “gay” as something that defines them. For example, they are proud of their sexual orientation and they don’t care who knows. I have counseled a few students over the years that have Gender Identity Disorder and want to change their gender from male to female or female to male. Some of these students have described what their desires and feelings are like and some let me know that they are not gay, they are not a lesbian. They simply want to be the “other” gender.
Provide three resources that will help teachers create Safe Environments in their classrooms
http://www.tolerance.org/toolkit/tips-teachers-ally-yourself-lgbt-students
http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/groups/lgbt/#creating
http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/ForEducators
Comments: Hi, Amy, at the college level, what are some of the reasons you have heard from students who may feel that being gay is "shameful"? I ask because that seems like the time when students identify with who they are and are not ashamed of it. Shawn
Amy, the 2nd link above was very informative about federal civil rights related to sexual orientation. I read it a few times and it is still somewhat confusing! It seems wrong that schools can say they won't get involved in certain cases because legally there is not protection for students with varying sexual orientations. -Beth Mowrey
Amy, I think you have shared some important insights from your work with transgender students. It almost seems to me like transgender should not be linked with gay and bisexual. The issues are very different. Understanding this seems key to recognizing these students' issues. Thank you for your insights. Katie Marsh
Name: Marz
Response:
I felt many different emotions when watching the movie Homecoming. I sympathize with Ron because of the abuse that he experienced in his hometown. I also applaud his coming out, which must have been difficult to do particularly when living in a small town where gossips spread quickly and which tend to be more homophobic than bigger cities. I admire his courage and that he remained true to himself despite the harassment that he experienced. I am glad that his mother supported him and that he could have confided in her as many other parents might have struggled learning that their child is homosexual. The behaviour of the police who advised Ron and his mother to drop the case is appalling and homophobic in itself. They are supposed to serve and protect everyone who is harmed unlawfully. Also the reaction of the school which ended with suspending the boys responsible for the act of violence on Ron is despicable. They should have followed up on the incident by educating their students about the importance of respect for everyone regardless of their sexual orientation like the new school in Minneapolis that Ron later joined did. They set a bad example by ignoring the issue. Finally, I am happy that Ron found the new school that accepted him and respected him as probably is not the case for many other homosexual, bisexual or transgender people.
If Ron was a student in my classroom I would treat him with the same respect as other students and I would support him academically and encourage him to pursue his passions and interests further. I would like to make him feel welcomed and confident to come and talk to me about any issues just like other students. I would also expect the rest of the class to treat him in the same manner and if his classmates mistreated or bullied him, I would focus on challenging homophobia in my classroom rather than pretending that the issue does not exist. I would also address the issue with the school administration counting on their support.
Unfortunately, I am not aware that my last school did anything to create a safe environment for homosexual students. I do not recall hearing anything about the subject at all. I believe that one reason for it could have been that it was a wealthy and close knit environment, in which certain subjects were considered taboo or kept private, as it is difficult to picture that a school of approximately five hundred or more students would have only heterosexual students.
If I hear a student using the word ‘gay’ I’ll address it. How I would address it would depend on the context the word is used. If it used as to single some out due to their sexual orientation I would have a class discussion on why people feel that they need to refer to others’ sexual orientation and how they would feel if someone addressed them by mentioning their sexual orientation. I would also try to make a lesson on the connections between homophobia and other forms of discrimination like racism or sexism.
Resource 1:
http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/index.html
Resource 2:
http://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm
Resource 3:
http://www.bctf.ca/SocialJustice.aspx?id=6106
Comments: Hi, Marz, is anyone in your school trained in the Safe Place program? (Shawn)
Hi Marz: I also found the way in which the police handled the matter with Ron appalling. The police gave the impression that they could not guarantee his safety, or sent the message that it was Ron who caused the event to happen; What you say about drawling parallels between homophobia and other forms of discrimination is spot on I beleive, for one type of intolerance breeds or accentuates other modes of intolerance. John Pahls
Yes, the fact that the police and the school didn't want to get involved proves that the beliefs of the children in the school also ran deep in this town. It affirms what I think which is that children learn so many of their beliefs from adults in their lives. - Beth Mowrey
Hi Marz,
I too felt appalled at the event Ron had to face. I find it incredible that he was able to come out to his mother because like you said many parents would not be able to handle that. I agree that the school should have followed up with some type of education on sexuality. That idea was something that had not crossed my mind. Originally I was stuck on the legal aspect instead of what the school could do to educate their students.
Libby
Name: Abbey Juzwiak
Response:
The line Ron said at the end about his new school was very powerful. He said “They saw me as a real person and not just who I loved”. I think this hits a point for all of our students. They want to be seen as a person and not one alienating factor. Bullying is not acceptable under any condition. I remember in high school students were constantly being picked on for various reasons and the teachers pretended not to notice. I went to a very small school with only 100 students in my graduating class. On Monday it was common knowledge what everyone did over the weekend, including teachers. I was always amazed how teachers could stand by and watch others being harassed.
My students are too young to specifically address this issue with them. However, I believe that one of the most important steps a teacher can take to make all students, including gay students, feel included is to lead by example. Teachers intervening when a child is being bullied, empowers their students to do the same. Teachers must model the desired behavior that they want their students to emulate. When students feel that the teachers are empathetic or at the least not going to intervene, they will push boundaries. As teachers and parents we know that children will behave worse when there are zero consequences for their actions.
I think that when a teacher hears a student use the word "gay" they need to then listen to the conversation to determine if further action needs to be taken (negative or positive). I do not tolerant students making comments that something was “gay” or “retarded”. An example to make students understand the harm in their words is using their name in the place of “gay” or “retarded”. Hearing their name used to mean that something is bad helps students to recognize how those words in a negative context are both harmful and hurtful. If the child is talking about a person who is gay but in a factual manner and not derogatory then it would be appropriate. If a student is talking about themselves or confiding in a peer about their feelings then the teacher may be able to offer support.
Resource 1:
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/supporting-gay-students/
Resource 2:
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting_roles/parenting-adult-children/responding-in-love-to-an-adult-gay-child.aspx
Resource 3:
http://www.nea.org/tools/30420.htm
Resource 4:
http://changefromwithin.org/2012/03/01/10-keys-to-creating-an-inclusive-classroom-community-for-lgbtq-students/
Comments: Hi, Abbey, thank you for including the fourth resource! I continue to be amazed at the number of resources that exist for teachers, if only they seek them out. (Shawn)
Hi Abbey,
The parallel you make using the words "gay" and "retarded" are very true. Both words are terms that I see as getting more and more used today in society and commonly the people who use them are not fully aware of the harm they are doing. The switching of names in your classroom by replacing a hurtful word with a students name is a brilliant idea. I have never heard that before. I will be using your idea in my classroom because that would resonate very well with my younger ones in feeling how it can have a bad connotation. Thank you!
Libby
Abbey, I enjoyed reading your response to the Homecoming movie. I can relate to your growing up in a small school, but mine was even smaller: my graduating class had 12 students! I think when you have such a tight-knit community, where everybody knows your business, it can be hard to be an individual and break the molds. All eyes are always on you! One would think that in such communities, teachers would not just stand by, but take action whenever needed! Those who stand by are just as guilty as those who are bullying, don't you agree?
.
Comments: Add comments here.
Name: Katherine Marsh
Response:
After watching the video, I felt a great deal of joy for the student, Ron, and his progression to becoming a secure and happy individual. My nephew experienced a similar situation and the similarities were so strong, I felt as though I were watching my nephew's story. Bullying is such a life changing event for those who experience it, my heart breaks every time I hear stories such as these. Ultimately, though, I think people, like Ron, who have experienced bullying can be enriched to a place of greater understanding of human beings and their capabilities, once they are removed from the situation and become confident about who they are in a nurturing environment.
If Ron were a student in my class, I would place value on his gifts and accomplishments, and try to help him communicate about bullying if that was a problem. Ron obviously had a natural talent for writing, so it seems clear that it would be easy to focus on this strength, and also create assignments which allowed him, and any other students who may be experiencing bullying, to communicate their hardships and how best to handle them.
My school, honestly, does not have a policy about handling the issues Ron was dealing with. It makes me aware that, although I work at a private preschool, perhaps an anti-bullying policy needs to be included in our handbook. I do, however, address topics such as bullying in class conversations I have with my students. There are several good children's books that deal with these topics, and I read these throughout the year. By modeling non-tolerance to bullying of any type, hopefully my young students will become aware that their choices can impact others, and their behavior can have positive or negative results for others.
If I hear student's using the term "gay" in a derogatory way, I would correct them by saying something like, "we do not call our friends mean names." I would then explain that this word is used to describe people, and is not a negative term. I would try to move the student to a place of understanding that name calling of any kind is not acceptable.
Resource 1:
http://www.exploratorium.edu/ifi/resources/workshops/teachingforunderstanding.html
Resource 2:
http://www.intime.uni.edu/multiculture/curriculum/Culture/Teaching.htm
Resource 3:
http://www.adl.org/
Comments:
Hi Katherine: I, too felt happy for Ron in the end. His story of one who has had to endure such brutal intolerance could have had a devastating end yet I agree with you it took him to a stronger and more integrated place. I admired his strength and ability to cope when he said at one point. "I don't think about it (his experience in the small town) so much now." Such a response could mean either one of two things, it was so unpleasant he represses it or he has worked his way through it. My hope, and his tone seemed to suggest it was the latter. In this way it is a happy story. John Pahls
Katie, do the parents have any reactions to reading these stories? Shawn
Katie: I really appreciate how you would try to help Ron communicate about bullying, through is writing. This would indeed empower him and provide him with life tools that he will need as he goes forward in life, regardless of where he lives. I really like the way your correct a person when they use the word "gay". Although I do something similar, I will adopt your line next time I hear it. I think it really speaks to one's emotions. Lina
Name:John Pahls
Response:
I was encouraged by the film Homecoming. Initially it was sad and distressing that Ron experienced such intolerance and brutality at Lakeville. Yet, the silver lining within that black cloud is that the strenuous time catapulted both him and his mother to find a school and setting wherein he received the acceptance and support he deserves. The alienating period in Lakeville led to the much better place in south Minneapolis, and the fact that he does not dwell upon the bullied time before shows he has worked through much of the trauma, and as a language arts teacher am glad to see the writing process helped!
If he was in my class I hope that my response would be courageous, to address the issue as proactively as possible. Just as with our middle schoolers, often I get no good work unless its graded and evaluated, so too I would work to ensure there were further consequences beyond just suspension, and further education and processing of such a brutish action.
I have only heard the word used once in my presence in class by some middle school boys, in reference to not a person but to some sort of situation or circumstance they wanted to denigrate. The student mumbled in a sidewise sneer to their friend, “that so gay”. I looked at the young man and he looked down and was silent, not challenging, but I must confess I didn’t address the issue head on. We as teachers choose our battles, there were no students known in the class that were of a same-sex orientation but still such aspersions should not be tolerated and I’ll be ready to address it next time.
Resource 1:
Twelve teacher tested tips for behavioral management:
http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/curr155.shtml
Resource 2:
From the Center for Diversity and Inclusion, ways to create safe environment for LGBTQ students:
http://www.american.edu/ocl/cdi/upload/CLASSROOM-CLIMATE-FOR-lgbtq-STUDENTS.pdf
Resource 3:
Making school safe for LGBTG students:
http://www.education.com/reference/article/schools-safe-lesbian-gay-bisexual-students/
Comments: Hi, John, the first time the comment is heard, it can catch someone off guard. Preparing to address it next time, how is the situation playing out in your mind? Shawn
Hi John, I agree with you that as teachers and parents we must choose our battles. Maybe all that student needed was a look from you. Not all students need it to be addressed with a discussion. He may have received the message that you disapproved through your look. -Abbey
Name: Beth Mowrey
Response:
My Reaction: The film demonstrates how family beliefs manifest through children. Children come to school with pre-conceived notions by what they experience in the home and community environments. Entire communities and regional areas throughout the United States carry similar values. When you live there and your values don’t match, you are treated as an outcast or as wrong. This happens with many issues other than homosexuality.
As I get older, I try to find the positive in every negative situation. Due to Ron’s negative experiences in his hometown, he then had the opportunity to find happiness in a new environment. If his initial situation wasn’t so extreme, he wouldn’t have moved and found the way to blossom socially and academically.
If Ron was a student in my classroom, I would capitalize on his strengths. I would help him to feel safe and valued, just like any student. Teaching in an elementary school (K-4), we don’t blatant sexuality situations. Yes, there are children that need guidance with appropriate touching and personal space etiquette.
I taught middle school many years ago (12+). I am sure I heard students use the word “gay” in a derogatory manner. However, I can’t remember specifically how I dealt with that. When a child uses an inappropriate word in front of me, I will give him/her a alternate word that is a better choice. (Example “Oh My God…Oh my Gosh”). If a child said “This assignment is gay”, I would discuss why he/she was frustrated or angry about the assignment. I would also give better word choices to share the frustration with me or others. If a child called another child “gay”, I would write a referral to the office, because that is personal defamation.
Resource 1:
https://www.teachingchannel.org/videos/create-a-safe-classroom
Resource 2:
http://www.safeclassrooms.org/resources
Resource 3:
http://www.secretservice.gov/ntac/ssi_final_report.pdf
Comments: Hi, Beth, I once had a sign that provided synonyms to students for using "That's so gay." Many of the words students had not heard before, so it became a great vocabulary lesson. Shawn
Hi Beth, After reading some of the statistics on your second resource, I learned that rural LGBT are more frequently victimized. I found this disturbing due to the fact that I live in a rural area, but also important for educators to understand in order to be part of positive change. Katie Marsh
Name: Elizabeth Pasquale
Response:
At the beginning I felt very sad for Ron. When he started to say how people around him did nothing to stop the situation or help afterward, I felt angry. I do not know how people could sit around and watch something like that happen. To me people like that are just as guilty.
As the story continued I felt very shocked at the age that Ron came out to his mom. I have many homosexual friends who did not come out at such an early age. This really took me by surprise, but I applaud him for knowing himself well enough to know what he wanted. Although the story was sad at first I found it very empowering. The video showed me how helpful school environments can be. The safety that school provided allowed Ron to grow and shine in his class and move on such a traumatic experience.
The only part of the story I was confused about was when Ron said there was nothing else done to the students past being suspended. I am not quite sure what else would be done. In my school growing up we had many incidents of people getting in fights even to the extent that one girl had a girl dangling off a balcony. All that was done there was suspension. Once I thought back to the story I was confused because it said it was at a football game. In this case I am even more conflicted on my feelings towards the punishment because that is outside of school hours. The students should not have been suspended but rather charged for assault and battery. It makes me sick that people do this and can get away with it.
- If Ron was a student in your classroom, how would you respond?
If Ron were a student in my classroom I would make it very known to him that I am someone he could trust. I would let him know that his choices did not make a difference to me and that he would be treated as an equal to everyone else in my class. I would also make it very clear to him that I am there to help if he had any problems with others students and to come to me if there were any problems at all.- What does your school do to create a safe environment for students like Ron?
In my school we do not have any situations that deal with anything like this. Students are too young in my school to really know much about sexual orientation or relationships. Especially in my classroom this because even less a topic. Some of my students are confused on what the difference between a boy and a girl is.I have never had a student use the word gay in my classroom. They are too young. If a student were to use the word in my classroom it would be just because they heard it somewhere else and used it just as a word rather than a hurtful one. Students in my room commonly misuse words and do not know their meaning. If this occurred I would explain to the class, as I do with other inappropriate words, that it is not something we use. I explain that the term is used to hurt people and make them feel sad and we do not want to do that. I believe at this age it would be too early to take it any further. At a higher education level I would go into more of a detailed explanation.
Resource 1:
http://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/at-school/build-safe-environment/
Resource 2:
https://www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights/lgbt-youth-schools
Resource 3:
http://www.nea.org/tools/30420.htm
Comments: Libby, since this did occur outside of school hours, police should have been involved. Because it was a school-sponsored event, that is the reason why Ron was hoping for more than suspension. When an incident like this occurs, it could be mandated that the offenders go to counseling of some sort. I hope these examples help! Shawn
Libby I agree with you that the people who stood around and watched him get beat up are just as guilty as the people who were physical. I can understand feeling frustrated about the students only being suspended. Even though a suspension is not something you want on your record, the reality is that missing school is not much of a punishment. Personally I think suspension should be replaced with community service. -Abbey
Libby, I too was surprised by how young Ron was when coming out. I work with adults, not kids, so I am not that familiar with the ages that could be common with kids coming out to family and friends, but I thought he was very self-aware at a young age, which more than likely helped him cope with the bullying he endured at school.
-Amy
Name: Lina.
Response: the the show movie: Homecoming
I was saddened at first because I can only imagine the fear and horrible times that Ron lived through during his high school years. I was happy to hear that he had the option to move, even though it was his senior year. This means that he had lived in that town and gone to that school for probably most of his life. With people harassing him daily and being pushed in the halls, there is only so much that a person can take!
I think it’s a terribly sad situation when a person finds it dangerous to live in his own town and has to move in order to be safe. On the other hand, it was really great to hear that the environment at his new school was so open, with open-minded teachers and students alike. If I were to fault someone or something, I think that I would have to say that for this particular situation, I blame his previous school for not creating a culture of tolerance and acceptance.
One thing I didn’t understand was the line when he says: “There was not really any steps to reprimand the individuals beyond suspending them.” I was glad to hear that they got suspended. Perhaps he means that it was not enough of a punishment?
If Ron was a student in my classroom: the situation at my school is different than the one Ron found himself it. I have class sizes of 14-16 students, close contact with parents, and the students are carefully monitored for behavior. We have frequent “student concerns meetings” and progress reports are sent out every 2 weeks. Intolerance and bullying are not accepted in any way, shape or form. Also, being a private school, if a group of students were to beat up on a student, they would not only get suspended, but probably expelled. We have systems in place, such as behavior contracts, academic probation, and the code of conduct to prevent these types of situations.
However, if I were in a public school in the US, I would make sure that Ron knew that he could come to me anytime. I’m not sure what I would do with regards to those 5-6 guys who beat him. My school is a private K-12 International School of about 400 students. The Elementary school, middle school and high school each has it’s own principal and different breaks that do not over lap. The high school is located in another building across the street. So, each level is its own self-contained unity. This helps to manage and control behavior. Also, most of the students have been in the same classes for many years since kindergarten). My school creates a family environment among the students because it is so small, and living on a small island, there are not many option for social interactions. Sports, music, drama, the students hang out with each other after school as well as during school. In addition, the teachers are a tight team; we have clear goals, with the students's well-being being our first priority. We also have incident reports - every incident that occurs, goes into the student file.
I always tell my students that those types of words are not tolerated in my classroom and I question the student about their choice of words. It causes an interruption because I do stop whatever I am doing and take a few moments to address the issue. I also remind them of the “ISC Way”, our code of conduct.
Resource 1: http://groundspark.org/download/IE_Guide_08_Final.pdf
Resource 2: http://twood.tripod.com/oldguide.html (for teachers, students, administrators and parents)
Resource 3: http://www.naeyc.org/files/yc/file/201001/LesserOnlineExtra2.pdf
Comments: Hi, Lina, you mention the differences between public and private schools. No matter the student who comes to our public school doors, we are responsible to educate them. Students can be expelled from their 'home' school; unfortunately, it costs quite a bit of money to expel the student because the school district is still responsible to educate the student. Shawn
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